Terence Koh engaging with my work of art

As I watched this episode, I was so genuinely hurt. I had no idea Miles had said those things and it hurt because, 1.) It’s simply not true that my painting was his idea and 2.) I have been an advocate for Miles up until this point. I really admired his work on the show and had a great deal of respect for him as an artist. I am still really confused that he would be so disingenuous and I can’t believe he would try to take credit for my project.

It was my intention from the beginning to do a classical, nude image of a woman that was universal yet had a contemporary feel.  THIS was the concept, and was entirely my idea.

Miles then presented his idea of control/loss of control and I agreed it was an interesting way to make our pieces tie together, and I thought, “Sure, I can work with that.” Control was a running theme in both of our work, and I didn’t see a problem with this compromise. Miles and I then engaged in a long discussion about both of our pieces, offering mutual suggestions and feedback with ideas being shot down on both ends.

Regarding Miles’ comments: I find it difficult to believe that ANYONE would actually think I would have difficulty with this challenge, considering that my work for the PAST FIVE YEARS has been primarily about women and/or female sexuality. When I randomly picked male/female I was THRILLED!!! I was excited about this challenge and viewed at as an opportunity to build upon my typical body of work.

There were a few moments where I seem uncomfortable on the show: While I had no issue making a piece involving nudity or sexuality, I had a bit of a cold at the time (recall the children’s museum a few days ago…) and admit that part of me was not excited about being nude in front of video cameras. There is a very different kind of vulnerability in that situation.

The image I made feels sexual yet spiritual simultaneously due to the central composition, the white color (symbolizes purity), and by adding a wood structure that makes it feel like an altarpiece.

The reason I hung sheets around my work space was to protect my painting from the enormous amount of sawdust in the room which accumulated do to Miles not having a separate area to cut wood.

The majority of Art throughout history is about sexuality, spirituality, or both. Reconciling these two elements in my work is a running concern of mine.  Nudity in Art is a beautiful form of expression. Some of the most enigmatic paintings and sculptures ever created have been of the female nude. . I am proud of the final image that is produced in this challenge and find it to be thought provoking and critical.

Based on the work alone, I think Miles and I deserved to win. The individual pieces were harmonious in their contrasts and had enough ambiguity to prevent the narrative from being didactic. However, winning isn’t everything – and it certainly isn’t worth what I’m feeling right now.

***MUST READ ARTICLE!!!! http://femalepersuasion.blogspot.com/2010/07/bravos-work-of-art-in-defense-of-jaclyn.html

***UPDATE! Miles Mendenhall called to apologize.

I will keep our discussion confidential, but I am glad that after seeing the episode he felt compelled to contact me.

Jaclyn Santos, "Female", 2009

A short pictorial ode to sexuality in Art:

Egon Schiele, Female Nude, 1914

Jeff Koons, Made in Heaven

Balthus, Guitar Lesson, 1934

Gustave Courbet, Origin of the World, 1866

55 Comments
  1. cassiej
    July 28, 2010 -
    Reply

    From your description of what really happened, I believe this is another element of reality tv's negative side. Manipulating comments to be taken out of context, leaving parts of the story out for a 'better' one. I personally don't understand the difference between taking something literal and not understanding, to taking a work they don't understand, and saying they don't understand it and its amateurish. To me, holes in a black wall do nothing for me.

  2. Woody Tanaka
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    It is a shame that this show was edited in such a way to have put you (repeatedly now, it seems) in a negative and unfair light. Nevertheless, you produced a wonderful piece that is provocative and engaging. There was a sense that I got that there was something more to this image than merely a strictly erotic representation of a woman engaged in this act, that you were playing with ideas about exposure, holding back, hiding and control. Very well done.

  3. JW
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    It doesn't really surprise me that Bravo would "skillfully edit" their footage in order to turn you (and everyone else on the show, I'm sure) into a one-note characterature of yourself. It isn't right, it isn't fair, but it's what happens with reality television. Although, all things considered you haven't come off as being a particularly terrible person -- some shows go out of their way to destroy people by painting them out to be something they're not. As for sexuality in art, while I do think some artists (especially photographers) use sex as little more than a tool to say "look at me," I personally find your work to have a message behind it -- a purpose for existing, if you will. But considering that there are a lot of people who simply use sex and sexuality as a shock tactic which just cheapens it in the eye of most people. All you can really do is just keep doing what you do the way you feel most comfortable in doing it and, over time, your message will come in loud and clear over the background noise.

  4. raquenena
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    I really appreciate your blog about the show. I think it is a great way for you to tell the truth about what happened -- and thus to challenge the producers'/editors' manipulation and dishonesty. And I also think it is a way to give us what the show absolutely failed to: insight into the artists' mind, into your ideas about how you understand your pieces, etc. It's really unfortunate that the producers would rather make the show so simplistic and all about drama rather than really show us non-artists something valuable about the art world, which is so foreign and unfamiliar to so many of us! I am really disappointed in the show, and really only watch it to see the art you all made. Also, I think all those people who succumb to the producers' manipulation really show their own stupidity. I think your art really speaks for itself, and it does connect to many of us who really understand what it is you are conveying. The producers try to portray you as silly, as someone who "defaults to nudity" but I would think that anyone with any sense can see the meaning in your art and the deep thought that you put into it! As a young woman myself, I totally connect with your portrayal of women's conflicts between a desire to find deep meaning and value in our lives as humans but also being tempted by others' value of us primarily as sexualized beings, and at the same time the tension between our own desire to truly understand and enjoy our own sexuality as women while simultaneously being chastised for doing so. At least, that's what speaks to me in your art. It's super frustrating that the producers would rather default to stereotype by portraying you as a naive woman who only has her looks to go by rather than capitalize on your deep insight into women's experiences and your amazing artistic talent! But I think you shouldn't give the producers' too much credit -- they can fool some people but I'd guess it's the people who matter that they canNOT fool. Keep doing you girl! :-)

  5. Elizabeth
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    I really appreciate that you created this blog and have continued to maintain it. Perhaps you are in a unique position as an artist- talk about being objectified! It is a bit ironic that Bravo chose to portray the feminist artist as a dumb bimbo. I understand that you are upset about this, as anyone would be, but I wanted to let you know that there are quite a few of us that have been watching the show that do like you- at least, as much as anyone can like a person they don't really know. Despite the editing, it comes across that you are intelligent, well spoken and thoughtful. I suppose what I want to say is that some of the "real" Jaclyn does shine through. You are my favorite artist on the show, and I hope to see more of you.

  6. sarae
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    Jaclyn, I just want to say that not everyone feels you are "defaulting" to nudity. That's a bunch of misogynistic bullshit. I said something about this on Jerry's blog. Basically: you are not "manipulating" a single soul. People are used to viewing women as evil temptresses set out to ruin men. You are not responsible for their reaction. You are not "asking for 'it,'" whatever "it" may be (in this case, it's possibly unwanted attention; in other cases, it might be something more severe). While I do agree with some that the subject of the "male gaze" is well-tread ground in the "art world," most people watching this show are pretty clueless on the subject and could use some educating. I am frustrated (but not at all surprised!!!) that Bravo has twisted it in such a way to turn your feminism against you. It seems you have a complicated relationship with the so-called "male gaze." I also do. A part of me wants attention, but a part of me rejects it. A part of me is actually quite critical of it. And then I have to deal with that guilt/shame that comes when I realize that I somewhat relished in attention that simultaneously made me feel <i>extremely</I> uncomfortable and vulnerable. People who see the world in black-and-white terms may not understand this. They only thing they can think to say, being as ignorant as they are, is "Why don't you put some clothes on? You're asking for attention." I really hate how Bravo makes it so easy for sexist viewers to "slut-shame" you and act as if you are manipulating the judges, as if you are somehow responsible for the way people react to your body. You are not responsible for men's reactions to your body, whether you are in a nun's habit or a bikini. No woman is. How easy it seems for men to use their socio-historical power and act as if you have <i>all</i> the power and are exerting it over <i>them</i>! So frustrating!

    • July 29, 2010 -
      Reply

      sarae.... thanks for the comments :) you write: "A part of me wants attention, but a part of me rejects it." This is SPOT ON. I genuinely believe there are very few women who DON"T struggle with this. Some may not admit to it, but I think this "duality" is an undertone to many social interactions. This goes ALLLL the way back to the "beginning" as you note, with the "evil temptress" remark. I will say that even though I am not responsible for men's reactions to my body, if I am using it in my art it is my obligation to be aware of it, which I very much was/am. I DID NOT expect that Bravo would go to such great lengths to undermine my work, especially given that SJP is an executive producer, and I feel this was my mistake. But as I wrote in my post, "violated and validated," I feel it ultimately serves to enhance my work.

  7. July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    I recall my very first impressions upon seeing advertisements for Bravo/Work of Art before it began airing. I thought to myself, "oh no, they're making a cheesy reality show about being an artist". I do not, generally care for "reality TV" as a format, but the notion of artists moving on based upon the strength and success of their work rather than meaningless random games played on an island made me curious and gave me hope. I've watched almost all of the episodes in the series thus-far and have enjoyed watching the edited bits (would like to see more) of the creative process and especially the critiques (though I'd like to see them delve deeper... it is only an hour TV show). The element this show shares with all the other less meaningful reality shows is that in editing, the desire to create drama and portray characters in an exaggerated, skewed manner is obvious. It is also quite unnecessary as the challenges put forth and art made and critiqued are interesting and compelling enough without the directorial sub-plots and fabricated drama. After having watched this episode and read your blog in response to it, I can see how the show did a dis-service to you and reduced what actually transpired into some sort of predetermined script/sub-plot. Having video cameras rolling constantly and some directorial team selecting bits and pieces that serve their interests must certainly make for disappointing viewing when you finally watch the various episodes. I suspect it's very much like sitting down to do a lengthy interview that upon it's completion, seeming very meaningful and edifying, only to read the excerpts in print and feeling like the interviewer misrepresented you and didn't get what you'd said. I can see how you want to set the record straight. When you selected the paint tube with the challenge written on it I was excited for you because I knew that the topic dovetailed perfectly with your body of work and the themes you are passionate about. Your work was strong and though you feel misrepresented, I, having talked with you about your work, know that you're no patsy. I still believe that overall, the show has value with respect to making the critique process known to non-art people in the TV audience. What I also hope they get from watching the show is that despite the critique being meant as an objective response to works of art, subjectivity nearly always remains a part of it, even if minimally. Try not to feel defensive. The very nature of the reality TV format is that of contrived drama. You, the strength and integrity of your work and processes can rise above it all. Art, after all is about integrity. You maintain yours admirably.

    • July 29, 2010 -
      Reply

      Jody. I agree with you that while the show has done a disservice to my character and art, there were still some benefits to its existence - namely that it is bringing art discussion to a new audience. You write about the editing process: "It is also quite unnecessary as the challenges put forth and art made and critiqued are interesting and compelling enough without the directorial sub-plots and fabricated drama." I agree completely! I felt this way especially with this challenge, as well as our public installation piece, and the shock challenge. (they did show my audi challenge work more than some of the other challenges). In the challenges I just mentioned, some of the work was so interesting or beautiful, and I'd really wished they'd shown more. I LOVED the piece I made with Miles. His tar/varnish was gorgeous, mine had an elegance to it, and even the way the back of my canvas was showing because I displayed my piece from the side complimented the back of Mile's wall beautifully. As Miles said, this was easily the piece I was most proud of.

  8. camipco
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    Reality tv is a medium, and Miles is working it far better than anyone else. I thought your mirror idea was great, and wish you had fought for it. I think it would have been especially interesting if your piece was positioned such that it was first seen in the (perhaps distorted) male mirror but so the viewer had to turn their back on the male piece to view yours directly. I thought Miles piece was a fantastic statement on male, as was yours on female, but the use of the mirror could have made your combined work about the relationship between male/female. Then again, Miles' work in the medium of reality tv this week gave plenty of powerful insights into the male/female relationship, did it not?

    • July 29, 2010 -
      Reply

      @campico: When miles decided to use the tar/varnish, the actual physical mirror became unnecessary, because my painting reflected in the surface of his, which I found to be beautiful and poetic. Miles and I compromised and we traded off for fifteen minutes: I varnished the hell out of his piece, and he quickly built a framing element I designed to be freestanding, so that it would reflect into the most reflective part of Mile's painting. This never aired, but we tested this in the studio and it reflected beautifully. It was indeed a VERY important aspect of the work. When it came time for the gallery show, the lighting was terrible (good for TV, bad for the artwork) and the piece barely reflected. Also, our intention was that my painting would be placed perpendicular to Miles piece, but MUCH CLOSER than it actually was! This would have made the reflection stronger. I was livid! Not at Miles, he was not to blame for this. I made another reflective painting, here is what it looks like when it works: http://jaclynsantos.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2010/07/IMG_3859.jpg

  9. July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    I received one of the cattle call e-mails asking for artists to audition for the show and my first thought was how completely ridiculous the time constraints would be (create a "masterpiece" in 13 hours. are you serious?) and how the producers would edit the crap out of the contestants in order to turn them into "characters". While I have to say it is entertaining to watch I really feel for you guys...it's a great opportunity for millions to see your work, but at the same time unrealistic in it's expectations and unfair in the way you are at the mercy of producers and editors looking to create the "story" regardless of what it might do to your reputation.

  10. Carlos Ochoa
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    "To me, holes in a black wall do nothing for me." I agree, cassiej. In fact, i have trouble grasping most of Miles' concepts. Jaclyn is a gifted artist and her work speaks for itself. The idea of pairing artists in a "team challenge" is bound to diminish a subordinate team member as it kinda demands compromise. Jaclyn agreed to Miles' leading role but her work brought Life to the Male/Female conception. Jaclyn's lure is her inimitable boldness, with which she stands out from her competitors.

  11. mec
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    The historical images you chose are very interesting as they do add to the depth of your work. Why? They are all horizontal. In your painting, you chose standing up--which is taking control of the situation! Although in the beginning Bravo presented you in a shallow and predictable way, I have to say that as the cycle goes on, your tv persona is coming across with more complexity. I read the Bravo presentation of you now as far more deep and intelligent than the early episodes let on. And the intelligent people out there know that what you see on tv isn't who you are in RL, right?

  12. Wilahmina
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    Jaclyn! You do a short pictorial ode to sexuality in art and you don't mention Courbet? Origin of the Word, Wrestlers, Sleepers... he's the first artist my mind goes to when talking about this subject matter.

    • July 29, 2010 -
      Reply

      I will add that, of course, I am just exhausted!!! I did a painting for Jeff Koons in which he appropriated origin of the world as his background. coming up!

  13. Tara
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    Thank you for this explanation of your piece. The way you are able to use classical references as a stepping stone to your own work, then make it contemporary is very refreshing. After seeing other pieces on the show, it is hard to understand the abstractness of them. Your works, however, convey a message that is accessible to the general audience, rather than just the art community.

  14. July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    While I was watching the show I thought "I can't wait to read Jaclyn's blog and see what her version of reality is." I could tell they were editing the show to make it look like you were Mile's victim. I assumed you were totally "in control" of what you wanted to do because this challenge was exactly in the area you work in. I'm so glad you are doing this blog because you have been a controversial subject and I think you have proved yourself to be a serious, thoughtful and intelligent artist. It is great to hear your side of the story because very often it is exactly what I was thinking but don't really know because of the editing. Keep doing what you are doing and where you are coming from. Your work will speak for itself and it will be louder as time goes on.

    • July 29, 2010 -
      Reply

      Tracey, if there has ever been an advocate for the existence of this blog it's you! This post COMPLETELY sums up the necessity of my blog. I'm still a younger artist, but I've been doing this long enough to know that when it comes to Art, intelligent people are often more accepting and understanding of "controversial" subjects than one may initially suspect, and Bravo should have given people more credit. It is as if they are catering to the LOWEST POSSIBLE common denominator at times. Thanks again!

  15. MT
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    just a quick note to say i'm glad you're blogging. the show makes it harder and harder to see you [and the others, i assume] outside of their packaging as the episodes progress. even if you did 'thoughtless' work of female nudes, they're still impressive. they're beautiful, your palette is moody and subdued in a very good way. that we can come here and learn more about the motifs, symbolism and your personal process is a huge extra yay. the judging comes across as random and possibly even revisionist; as if the outcome is decided, then everyone falls in line and creates crits based on that. Like doing a biased reading of any given literature in Eng101. anyway good job + good luck.

  16. James
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    After reading through some of your blog, I realized that Bravo portrays you much less intelligently than what your skill at writing and thought processes here suggest. You actually seem incredibly insightful; an impression I would not have obtained had I only watched the edited portions of you on the show. Keep up the good work, and remember that networks like this corner people into roles to fit schemas that increase their viewer ratings.

  17. Alexis
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    Jaclyn, You are fantastic. Everytime I watch the show I read your blog after to see what you have to say. I love seeing your side of things. You have become a subject of contorversy (it's too strong a word) in my household. I defend you (because I read your blog) while my sister and daughter think you're a tramp that resorts to showing off your beauty and my brother and cousing just think you're crazy hot. I hate to agree with my brother but I have my own duality issues; as man I gawk at your beauty and your sexuality is overwelming but as an artist I am enthralled by your work and find your interpretations fascinating. You are truly my favorite on the show. I also enjoy Miles' tortured soul but suspect it may not be THAT tortured and just amped up for TV by Bravo. If I'm ever in New York I will definitely make sure it happens when you have a gallery show (amazingly enough growing up in Boston I've never been to New York)

  18. July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    I am sooooo thankful for your blog. I really didn't understand the extent of the manipulation of "reality" television until now. I must admit....I am a guy...and you are hot as hell. The show would be a lot less interesting to me without your obvious beauty. Coupled with your willingness to use it for art and DAMN!!!!! My new favorite show. I will also freely admit that when the challenge was first spoken of this week, I thought to myself "watch Jackie do something nude". Sure enough, you did and I loved it. I wasn't sure if it was you just being narcissistic passive/aggressively or art. However, when you pointed out the time honored tradition of art and sexuality, it clicked. There is a Museum of Sex here on south beach with THOUSANDS of years old erotic sculptures and paintings...and they are excellent. You may have been reincarnated to rekindle this message for the New Age. Keep up the excellent work......

    • July 29, 2010 -
      Reply

      @Solomon: thanx, lol :) Interesting, I am from Miami too. My biggest regret on WOA is that for the child challenge, I did not address how my childhood/adolescent years in Miami shaped who I am today. My experience growing up in Miami was that there is an obsession with having a well-maintained physical appearance. I think this is encouraged more so in Miami than most other places in the country, save Los Angeles. Yet, maybe because of the Latin culture (I am half hispanic), religion is also very important. If you visit the MOCA museum or Reubell collection, for instance, there is a good deal of work around themes of Santeria or Catholicism. I begin considering myself a true artist when I was a teenager, and I felt an incredible amount of pressure to form religious/spiritual convictions while conforming to a high-maintenance, superficial aesthetic in my appearance. I began exploring these issues in my art and just kept developing them over the years.

  19. July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    Between Jerry Saltz' recap and yours, I feel like I get a better view of what really went on each episode. I appreciate the time you take out of your day to write these up. For me, I've always been utterly fascinated with the female form in art. Even in figure drawing studies, I prefer female models as male models can tend to be less intriguing in shapes and forms than females. Not saying there aren't male forms that are good for art...but they seem more difficult to find. Whereas, I'm convinced that you can find something artistically beautiful in every woman out there. I battle at times being a male and an artist....i tend to look at women I meet, first as an artist rather than as a guy. Let's not even get into the looks I get when showing my art to non-artistic friends or family...keeping in mind I have a physical disability and that has added layers of stereotypes that come along with it. (people have a lot of misconceptions about sex and disability...even to the point of being shocked that someone in a wheelchair has the same desires as 'normal' people). One of the most fascinating things about art and humans in history is that we as a species 'default to nudity' when it comes to art. To me that says that the human form at it's most basic, connects to our soul and mind in ways that many things in art do not. It's a powerful theme that can just as easily create awe and wonder as it can horror and discomfort. ~joseph

  20. TJ
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    I don't think we learned much about you from Miles' comments but we clearly learned a lot about Miles. To me Miles seems like a front runner in the competition, along with yourself and sometimes Nicole, so I was surprised they would edit to make him seem so unsympathetic. But I would prefer to look at the real story here. For me, you and Miles made a piece of art that really spoke to me. As you were working on it, it was not clear to me how it would come together, but it was intriguing that you both seemed to be confident with your vision and executing towards it. I was very concerned how your piece would be realized through reflection and you would have to stand in a certain spot to see your contribution. It seemed that you risked being marginalized in the piece. I thing the idea of using the black piece in the middle was a great idea. For me, it seemed to change the piece from 4/5 miles with 1/5 of a reflection of you, to rather a piece that was 1/3 Male, 1/3 female, and 1/3 negative space reflecting a huge gap in between. In other words, at least on TV, it made your piece come to the fore as a coequal piece, and I think that is why the end result succeeded so much for me. I realize that my reaction was based on the TV angle, and that in the gallery, the original mirror idea may have worked fine. But bottom line, the piece engaged me, and I am still thinking about it.

  21. camipco
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    @Jaclyn Ahhh. Yeah, that didn't come through in the tv lighting at all. I agree, beautiful and poetic. Thanks for the reply.

  22. July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    I am a man who makes his living as an artist and I get frustrated at some of the comments I keep seeing on different boards about Jaclyn's work. My wife asked me today, "Why does she have to get naked in everything?" (a reference to Jaclyn) She said, "It seems like everyones work is constantly about sex." My response...after a brief history lesson on ties between sex/religion as early as prehistoric cave drawings...was this. Jaclyn's work makes me uncomfortable. Like I'm dirty. If I was to go see a stripper, I know she wants me to look because it's how she gets paid. BUT, Jaclyn's work makes me feel like I got caught looking in the neighbors window. She may show "a lot of skin" in her paintings, but the girl in the painting doesn't seem to know or want me looking. On a comical note, my wifes response was that I should feel like that (dirty) anytime I saw a woman other than her in a state of undress...lol

  23. reality bytes
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    jaclyn your representation on the show has been entirely offensive. but of course that is to be expected from reality tv... i love that you identify as feminist. i support any woman who does. that said, why are all the images of sexuality on your blog by men? just because an image depicts sexuality does not make it feminist, nor does it necessarily make a positive statement about sexuality beyond pornography. i like that you put your own sexuality on display, i do it as well for my art. i feel like we're all just trying to figure out what female sexuality means, what it can do, how we're limited by it. it is an impossible topic.

    • July 29, 2010 -
      Reply

      I Know... I'm exhausted, I will add more images later, promise. There are tons of amazing women artists I love. Will do this soon :)

  24. Theresa
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    When you two ended up with Male/Female, I hoped you would defy expectations and switch assignments. I think it would have been much more interesting to see you work on Male and Miles on Female. Did you ever consider that, or was the traditional "female does female, male does male" assumed from the start?

    • July 29, 2010 -
      Reply

      Theresa, yes, we definitely considered it, and I believe we both would have done really well with either theme. In the Audi challenge I used men as my subject and won. Miles did a beautiful portrait of Nao and won. The way some of us viewed this TV show was from the perspective that we want to expose the world to the work we'd typically do as often as possible. Other contestants took each project more on a challenge by challenge basis. I knew this might be one of the last opportunities to show something similar to my own work before the "final three" were chosen, so I jumped on it.

  25. July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    Jaclyn, Excellent blog post. I have to admit I have been pretty lukewarm thoughout the show about your art's themes and execution - in a large part because I thought playing with the male gaze, etc. was sort of well trod territory. It's ironic therefore that the editing of the show itself has convincingly proved the continued necessity and urgency of such work! I'm really disappointed in the producers of the show - they seem to have very little respect for art or artists in general, which comes through in the vapid challenges, lack of respect for the viewer and reached it's apogee in this episode's interstitial montage about "bullshitting". Obviously, there are tons of people referring to concepts they barely understand in order to make themselves sound smart and give flimsy work meaning, and those folks deserve to be mocked, but Bravo shouldn't be mocking the - serious! - artists they chose to compete for the title of "Great New Artist"! (itself groan-inducing). In any case, I have really enjoyed the watching the artists at work, and discussing their work, and while I was hoping the show itself would turn around it would take a serious re-tooling to make me watch another season.

  26. July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    and that was a beautifully executed, restrained painting. kudos

  27. wuorinen
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    http://www.hulu.com/watch/157266/work-of-art-honesty-is-stupidity Hmmm.

  28. July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    I have to say that even despite how they've depicted you I've been able to relate to you. They seem to pick on you for just using yourself as your subject. I understand that sometimes it's not really about you; you are just the most readily available model. I love your courage in using yourself as a nude model for your own paintings. I fight sometimes with trying to find a balance of creating my concept while hiding certain parts of my physical self. I'm happy you wrote this blog, it's great to see more than just what the editors put out there.

  29. Molly
    July 29, 2010 -
    Reply

    Jaclyn, I want to get a closer look at your painting from last night. The picture on the Bravo site is so small and low resolution. I noticed you were using a palette knife and I want to see the effect you achieved. I am learning how to paint and you are obviously someone I can learn from . For the record, I think it will be you and Miles in the final two. I would like to see you win and think your participation in the show fits so neatly within the context of your work.

  30. July 30, 2010 -
    Reply

    Great post, Jackie. I love reading these! You know how i feel about Miles, and I posted on Andrew's blog about it, in more clear and thought-through terms. You are both talented, and I was excited to see you work together. The finish was very nice, I want to see that painting in person (I think one of my biggest issues with the show so far is that the works don't quite come through... i want to walk up to art, not see it on a screen.) Kudos! GP

  31. July 30, 2010 -
    Reply

    Jaclyn, Let me start by saying you are much brighter and your work is better than appears on the show. It is important that you continue your blog. As there is a chance you may read this, I would like to take an opportunity to talk about your work, rather than the show What doesn't come over on TV clearly is that you have both an excellent technique and a coherent message. I realize the show was filmed months ago, and only now do YOU get to see it and how they put it together, and this blog has been helpful to me. I thought your painting was sensitive, extremely well rendered, and brave. I think you have accomplished quite a bit for a woman as young as you are. Not that I'm that old, but I am an artist and would have loved to have your exposure. Don't worry, there is no bad press, and you are talked about more than anyone save Miles, who is a successful attention whore, if nothing else. You worked for Koons, He's had tons of bad press. I was rereading an ARTweek magazine from '05 that quoted someone saying, in every point in history there is one artist that exemplifies what "is wrong" with art right then, and Koons happily took up the moniker. One could do worse, eh? Many great artists are misunderstood and under appreciated in there own time. You have plenty of time. The rest of your portfolio is nice. I hope you do well at your upcoming show. Good luck. I would be honored if you have the time to look at my own work. I paint to satisfy a problem I'm finding here in the blogs. How does one create something new and unique to oneself, while still keeping a wide audience? Its obvious due to the response on the boards that there are a lot of people interested in art that do not have much experience looking at contemporary work. They love visual quality and can love a good illustration as much as a meaningful painting, so long as the technique is good. They are the loudest critics of the judges, due to the tendency for the judges to go for concept over pretty. As you know, you need both. Your skill at realism is admirable. Duchamp spoke of retinal painting vs. olfactory painting, the first to please the eye only, while the second is for painters who paint for the texture, the smell, the love of the medium, and to just please themselves. I used to be mostly the latter, and still am, though I now bring imagery into the work so people that can only understand retinal art may still see something to draw them in. I would cherish any comments.

  32. Stanley
    July 30, 2010 -
    Reply

    I think it's really unfortunate that Bravo has typecast you into the "bimbo pretty girl" character who can't think for herself, and it's even more unfortunate that people believe it. It shocks me to read comments about you defaulting to nudity for every challenge, being unable to conceptualize your own ideas, or exploiting your body. Clearly those people are only looking on the surface, as all the nudity/sexuality in your art is not done without purpose. Unlike some of the other contestants, your body of work throughout the show continues to build on an overarching theme that you explore in different ways with each project. Because your themes involve the male gaze, voyeurism, and feminism, it's only natural that the subject of your work will involve nudity and the female form. It's as if these viewers do not pay attention to the concept of the piece and instead just jump to being appalled that you use your own nude body to pose for your work. While people can complain about these things, and the editing can misrepresent you and your process, the proof that you have well thought out concepts and successful works of art is in the pudding. You win challenges! That's proof enough that you deserve to still be in the competition and make it into the finals. I hope you don't get discouraged from the horrible editing and misrepresentation. I look forward to see your art each week!

  33. Meredith
    July 30, 2010 -
    Reply

    I'm surprised you didn't talk about how horribly inappropriate question the guest judge asking you whether you masturbate standing up. Ugh, lecherous and totally uncalled for. It's totally understandable that you answered, since they hold your fate in their hands and all, but it would have been nice if you'd told him it was none of his damn business.

  34. maria
    July 30, 2010 -
    Reply

    Wow up until this point I've been fooled by the "reality", it's really depressing what the producers are doing to the contestans of the show. I've been fully convinced that the idea seem to come from Miles, it truly seemed that way. I've been enjoying this show alot, beeing an art student I recognize so much from how you all speak, to the group dynamics. It's very entertaining. I do think you're in the top with Miles, I've not been convinced by Nicole's work even though her conceptiual ideas are very, very good. She seems to need more time to execute her often complicated ideas. Otherwuse, i hope Abdi shapens up, I look forward to see you and Miles at the finale. Peregrin is definetly creative but can't say I've ever been convinced by any of her ideas.

  35. Robert
    July 30, 2010 -
    Reply

    Having already known about your recent rainbow-reflection painting, I was actually looking for that in the tar wall. Thankfully, there's an image on Bravo's site that reveals the intended effect to some degree. Considering Miles' portion denotes violence, there was a missed opportunity to add to the already ample creepiness in the episode! By the way, I'm curious as to what happens to all of the artwork on the show. Property of Bravo?

  36. MissBumptious
    July 30, 2010 -
    Reply

    Wow. I submitted a comment that questioned you on a few things and I don't see it here.

    • July 30, 2010 -
      Reply

      I understand, I have not had time to answer yet, unfortunately. When I am able to sit doen and write, I will certainly post your comment with a reply.

  37. Susan
    July 31, 2010 -
    Reply

    Why are all your comments positive and laudatory? In other forums about this show there is far more interesting dialogue. Since the first comment on this post asks why you didn't post their questions, I'm left wondering if you might be leaving more critical comments out? It gets a bit boring, listening to everyone tell you how great you are (even if it's true).

    • July 31, 2010 -
      Reply

      Susan: I don't consider this a "forum" as much as a site I use to communicate directly with my fans. I actively comment on Jerry Saltz's NYMAG recap where viewers are much more critical of me. I am certainly interested in dialogue on my blog, and I approve any comments that don't seem malicious. Trust me, I'm well aware of all the criticism I've received on other sites. I have approved multiple comments that have offered suggestions, advice and critical feedback on this blog. Now if someone attempts to post a malicious or derogatory comment about me, I will certainly not approve it because, after all, I am paying for this microphone ;) I am INCREDIBLY GRATEFUL for all of the comments I receive that are sincere and genuine - and if the criticism is constructive, of course I will approve it :) I also try to answer as many comments as I can, although I only have so many hours in the day. Thank you for your interest in my blog! Jaclyn

  38. Julie
    July 31, 2010 -
    Reply

    Your thoughts are powerful yet too many for such a distant past. It matters not what anyone thinks of fantasy, only what lessons are learned from reality. You're doing just fine. Defend yourself? Criticize them? Embrace the vibrant landscape that surrounds you instead. Just be -- see?

  39. Intaglio Skorunger
    July 31, 2010 -
    Reply

    You have to understand that the editors believe you, the other artists and artists in general are crazies who should be locked up. why else would they edit every episode as though you are circus animals? You should expect them to ignore the depth of your ideas in exchange for their concept of the popular view and whatever drama might be entertaining.But I would expect all that, particularly from Bravo. What troubles me is the limited focus on the completed work itself. We're given a quick glimpse and no real opportunity to appreciate the technique, execution and elements of the composition. Now if were just looking at a literal hole in the wall that might be fine but your painting this week just looked incredible, especially considering the time constraints. We may not be able to taste the creations on Top Chef but the work here is through a visual medium. Why not give us a little time to savor or reject it? As for your work and your issue here, I think the real criticism that hasn't been spoken is our curiosity about what else you have to say as an artist. Your current work is outstanding but I wonder if you have considered other issues of interest or if your simply too fascinated with the current statement. Objectification vs. Wanting to be Desired is nice, but what else have you got to say? What else haven't you explored? What else matters to you? I'm one to talk. I'm fixated with painting Mondrianesque squares. Hehehehehe. Anyway, from what little they showed us your work was outstanding.

  40. Kellie
    July 31, 2010 -
    Reply

    Hey Jacklyn, I am really sorry to say, even though I know it through and through, I really judged you based on how they edited you. I know very well how they edit to show as much drama as possible and ANYONE can be edited down to a stereotype. The narrative they fed me about you, I believed, until I came across this blog. I am also sorry that how they are portraying you is a surprise and hurtful to you. If you were to think of art as a means of showing the world a very raw version of your soul, reality TV is a very over dramatized version of humanity. Please know that now that I have had a means of clarity about your art I find it very powerful and moving. Living in NYC I will be sure to attend a show of yours as soon as I can. Also, I really appreciate your frankness about a topic which people will most definitely prejudge you on - and allowing people to comment on such. I assume being a visual artist helps you with this. Thank you.

  41. KelleyM
    July 31, 2010 -
    Reply

    For a woman that's emotionally struggled with issues on body image, attraction and attention, I've come to value your work on the show and gained new insights on such themes in my own art. Themes I've been reluctant to explore because of a lack of understanding from friends and family. Which shouldn't matter at all, but unfortunately have mattered too much in the past but that's going to change. Thank you. If anything comes of this reality tv art show mess, maybe to know that many of us ARE getting the message; you're talented and your work is amazing. It's been a pleasure to watch you these past weeks on WOA. You're inspiring no matter what the outcome of the show, but I truly hope you win. Kudos.

  42. August 1, 2010 -
    Reply

    Jaci, I appreciate your anguish at the way the editing and production of WANGA makes you look--but truly less is more. Just take the time to offer the thoughtful expression of your ideas and what you were trying to accomplish. Skip an itemized defense. All you really have to say about the misrepresentation of your painting and your process is that the show distorts that process and that you regret that such is the case. The total absence of reality in "reality tv," in other words... This is what I really wondered: did you and Miles not even consider exchanging roles? Miles creating a work focusing on the female and you on the male? I can imagine such a collaboration as being enormously powerful.

    • August 2, 2010 -
      Reply

      Hi Ms. Cutler, I appreciate you saying I could shorten my defense, and to be honest, part of me does this more for therapy than anything else. With that said, I know you are a more discerning viewer, but literally close to 500 people have written to me and said that reading my blog completely changed their opinion of me. I recently had a solo show and dozens of people who follow my blog came out, and they all said how awesome it is that I'm doing this. Anyway, yes, Miles and I initially thought of switching off, but I think we both truly just wanted to do something as true to our typical work as possible. This is a chance to show our work to the world, and that painting was something I would have made outside the competition. I believe if we did switch off we still would have done very well; look at the pieces we did for the Audi challenge. I won with an installation of photos about "male gaze", and miles was in the top with a conceptually intallation he called "womb-like". I'm glad you are watching the show and hope all is well! Xo

  43. pizzapie
    August 2, 2010 -
    Reply

    Jaclyn, When I first started watching WOA I was skeptical of the whole thing, but I figured there might be a couple real artists in the bunch. I also will admit that after watching the first couple episodes, I classified you as the "bimbo" on the show, who had no real depth to her character besides a talent for painting. However, after reading your blog, I want to sincerely apologize because I was entirely wrong about you and I should have known reality tv is never real. I think your work is some of the best on the show, and after reading your blogs, I realize there is a lot more behind your work and I respect you for it. I know the show is taped in advance, but I hope you make it to the end, and win. I'm really sorry the producers are representing you in false ways, but I'm glad you're speaking out against it in your blog. I hope you do well!

  44. BPJ
    August 2, 2010 -
    Reply

    Your understandable frustration at being criticized for alleged "defaulting to nudity" reminds me of a story about Aristide Maillol: when he was commissioned to create a sculptural memorial of some sort (I forget the occasion), the French officials asked him about his intended design. After a few seconds pause, he shrugged and replied "Eh, une femme nue." Not a stretch for Maillol. By the way, if you're ever in Paris, the Musee Maillol is well worth a visit.

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